Burnout: The 6 Stages of Healing and Renewal

A deep crisis but also an opportunity for transformation

We know that burnout, at an advanced stage, results in a physical and psychological state that is incompatible with work.

Burnout is not only a crisis of exhaustion: it is also an opportunity for a turning point in life. It forces us to redefine ourselves, to question certain values and to give a central place to our health, our loved ones and our personal balance.

Have you ever wondered:

• How can we get out of this crisis?
• How does the transition from a work stoppage of several weeks, or even several months, to a satisfactory reintegration take place?
• How do you go from a momentary aversion to your job satisfaction?
• How long does it take to get out of it?
• What are the ways to recover?

Steps to get out of burnout

I am inspired here by the work of Diane Bernier, a pioneer on the subject of burnout. She has experienced burnout in her flesh and has put her experience at the service of supporting other people for about thirty years.

His research shows that recovering from burnout is more than just "resting and then going back to the way we were before." Rather, it implies a profound transformation of the relationship to work and to oneself.

Sources: Diane Bernier 2017, rééd. Supporting without exhaustion: prevention of burnout in helping relationships.

Diane Bernier considers burnout to be a crisis of values and identity and proposes a specific approach to prevention and reconstruction.

The duration of each stage is not determined because it varies from person to person. Consider that all of the steps below take at least several months.

It identifies six key steps:

1. Recognition of the problemAccepting that you are burned out is often difficult. Many resist for fear of being judged or because they have always "stood their ground". Resistance can last for weeks or even months. However, stopping the event becomes inevitable and must be confirmed by a doctor. Recognition by an external professional helps and does good. Often we need to be told what we know ourselves.
2. Distancing from sources of stressThis usually involves withdrawing from work (sick leave, leave, resignation). It is not a vacation, but a necessity to put an end to exhaustion and create a space for retreat. Personal guilt can be an obstacle, sometimes also administrative difficulties with the employer and the social security fund (burnout is not recognized as an illness).
3. Restoration of abilitiesRegain energy through sleep, rest and even crying. Reconnect with yourself, with your needs, reassure yourself by remembering your past successes and relying on the benevolent advice of loved ones or therapists. Emotional, physical and mental relaxation is necessary. Seek the notion of pleasure.
4. Questioning valuesThis is the pivotal stage, often painful. It consists of reviewing one's beliefs and ideals (perfectionism, idealism, need to be recognized). Accept your limits, give yourself the right to make mistakes and put forward new values: health, work/life balance, pleasure at work, humanity. Therapeutic work on trust is often useful at this stage.
5. Exploring possibilitiesAllow yourself to test new avenues: search for other jobs, trial projects, discoveries. This openness allows us to imagine a different future. This step makes you explore the outside world again (the previous steps are more introspective). Allow yourself to try new things and/or ways of doing things.
6. Rupture and transformationBurnout rarely marks a return to the same. It leads to a repositioning: part-time, change of tasks, or even profession or field. It is a new beginning, first initiated in the head, then concretized in life.

The steps presented below provide a general framework, but they should always be supplemented by individualized support from a therapist.

Don't stay alone, talk about it confidentially.

How to support a loved one with burnout

It is always difficult to be confronted with the burnout of a loved one, a colleague or a member of one's family. We often feel helpless: what to say, what to do, how to support without rushing? The desire to help is there, but there is a great risk of feeling powerless or wanting to go too fast.

 Common pitfalls for those around you are, for example, the desire to "save" at all costs, to give unsolicited advice, or to minimize suffering. This can unintentionally interfere with the healing process.

Here are some tips and reflections on how to best support a person with burnout, with respect, patience and kindness.

• Take care of yourself first: Supporting someone with burnout has an emotional and practical weight. To stay present and helpful, you also need to maintain your own balance. Sleep, rest, keep your personal activities and don't hesitate to seek support.
• Validate your experience: recognize that what she feels makes sense, without minimizing or judging.
• Encourage distance: support the decision to stop, without feeling guilty.
• To offer a present listening: to be there, without trying to give ready-made solutions.
• Encourage the reminder of successes: remind the person of his or her skills and strengths.
• Respect your rhythm: understand that reconstruction takes time.
• Supporting change: supporting its exploration of new values and new paths.
• Encourage the use of a professionalDoctor, psychologist, therapist: specialized support is essential to get through the crisis and rebuild oneself.
• Accept the long termHealing takes time. Wanting to speed up the process can put even more pressure. Patience is a form of support.

Continue the reflection with the conclusion of this series of 7 articles which invites us to a more human future.

The quality of presence in the support

The quality of presence is an essential response to the suffering of others. We can neither take nor truly understand the pain of the other: at best, we can imagine it in an imperfect way. That's why the real gift, in these moments, is simply to be there. To be present, without seeking to save or reassure at all costs, but with humility and authenticity. As Anne Dufourmantelle wrote in In Praise of Risk, "welcoming our limits is already an act".

This presence translates into small, accurate and adjusted gestures: listening in silence, observing, offering a glass of water, staying or withdrawing according to the needs of the other. It is based on attention more than on speeches, on sincerity rather than on performance. Even if you can do "very little", it is by doing this little as well as possible that you really become useful. The quality of presence is thus an act of openness, honesty and respect, which gives meaning to therapeutic and human support.